Preview from Embers of Hope, Flickers of Passion

“Excuse me? Jason?”

He jerked. Savanna stood outside the waist-high fence in a blue shirt, her hair teased every which way like she’d had a hectic day. If little Aubrey wasn’t sitting on her hip, he could have launched into some pretty erotic fantasies.

“Savanna, come on in.” He opened the gate, then gave Aubrey’s curls a pat. In return, he got a chubby smile. “How’s it going?”

“Well, it’s going.”

“Know that feeling.” He motioned to a chair next to his and they sat down. Moments like these made him wish he could talk things over with Mike after work. Talk about Savanna. More specifically, about Jason’s feelings toward her. Mike wouldn’t point out that Jason shouldn’t have these feelings. He’d just listen till Jason reached his own conclusion.

“Want something to drink?” he asked Savanna. Aubrey pulled on his shorts, so he smiled down at her. The little girl liked something about him. With a jolt, he found himself thinking about the similarities between them. Then he chided himself. It didn’t mean anything that they both had brown hair and eyes.

Savanna shook her head. “I’ve been thinking about what you said.” She’d pulled her gaze from him halfway through her sentence. That might have been embarrassment on her face. “You see, I would just stay with Cassie, but . . .”

“So you’re taking me up on my offer?” He liked how she got embarrassed about it, but he didn’t let the grin all the way on his face.

“If you’re still offering. I’m looking for work, so I’ll pay rent as soon as I can.”

Life suddenly felt a little better, a little brighter. He could see something floating in the waves to grab. Maybe he could keep afloat with Savanna close by.

“No need to worry about it, when you can.” He didn’t care if she ever paid him a cent. Feeling bolstered, he asked, “How’s Cassie?”

“Better.” The answer came quickly and easily. Maybe life was getting better there too. “A little more organized, but she’s not going back to work just yet.”

He thought on that a minute. It’d be nice to see Cassie happy again. It just felt wrong to think about moving on.

“Can I assume she’s still mad at me?” He watched Savanna while she watched her little girl play with a daisy. A long minute later, she nodded to his question. “But you and me, we’re okay, aren’t we?”

“We are,” she agreed. He had to be her friend, somehow he needed that, and maybe he could put off thinking about the other currents running between them. It wasn’t the time or place in life to be fantasizing about touching her skin. She’d run for sure if she had any idea how he felt. He didn’t expect Savanna to say more about Cassie, but she did. “I tried to get through but. . .”

But the truth stood in the way.

“She has a right to blame me. I thought about what was best for Mike, not about both of them or their future. I assumed he could explain to her how much he loved his job and she’d eventually accept it.” He reached behind his chair to where he’d hidden the beer, then took a long swig and replaced it. It wasn’t like Aubrey knew what it was, but he didn’t want to drink in front of her either. He’d had it out here before they arrived, and he didn’t want to go inside to put it away. He didn’t want to do anything but sit here with Savanna.

“You don’t blame yourself, do you?” she asked with those wild green eyes looking puzzled. “Because you have absolutely no reason to.”

“Ahh, darn it.” He looked over the surrounding rooftops at the tall timber and the hills beyond. “I can’t tell what I’m feeling. What about you? How are you doing with all this, on top off your own stuff?”

She blinked, shrugged, and he knew he wouldn’t get an answer. He ran around her question, too, and couldn’t blame her for doing the same.

Her shirt hung just low enough to show her tan line when she leaned forward, but he didn’t let himself look. The hottest babe he’d ever run across sat there and he couldn’t check her out. If he looked at her, all he saw were those big green eyes.

He knew what it was. Her baby. Dating a mom meant a lot of things in a real short amount of time. And she was Cassie’s best friend. And dealing with a divorce. And facing single parenthood. Off limits on so many levels.

So why couldn’t he shake the adrenaline rush he got every time he saw her?

Want to read more? Check out the beginning on Kindle. (Don’t worry, the novel has normal formatting that I lose when I post things here.)

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

We visited my dad today and my kids helped him decorate a small tree growing alongside the driveway. It was a small, 3 foot tree that looked a bit like a Charlie Brown tree, but very cute, especially after the kids hung the glittery ornaments.

He had another small tree for inside his house, a fake one that lit up and spun. It didn’t look like much, again, until they decorated it. We plugged it in and the little tree began to spin around and display little specs of glowing colors, which my middle son described as Northern Lights colors. We turned off the lights and watched it for a while as Elvis sang Christmas songs from the record player. I recently told my husband about my parents’ old Elvis records that I missed, and I was surprised to see them today. My dad had bought an old record player so there was even a way to listen to them again. It’s been a long time and many moves so I figured the records were gone. It seemed to work out perfectly for Christmas.

I’ve always been sentimental about the holidays and family – even as a kid I remember getting caught up in the emotions and traditions. Now I have my own kids to share this time with. I love this festive time of year, and this holiday season feels extra special to me. I took a lot of different steps this year to get my books out to more readers, and I’ve gotten to watch the results over the last five months. I reached 10,000 book sales, and the amazing part is that I sold most of them in September through November. A Cowboy For Christmas broke into the top 1000 in both the US and UK. All of my books have been following, making their way up the Kindle charts. More Than Memories was at 2,500 today. I’ve had some fun with writing too, publishing a Fantasy Romance novella and an Action Spy Thriller called Kauai Spy Games. Earlier in the year, I published Book Promoting 101 and A Miraculous Fate, a mystical thriller co-written with Tommy Garrison. Yeah, I know, I have quite a few different genres there! I just love a good story and enjoy writing romance, romantic suspense, action, thrillers and fantasy. I started three different novels lately and expect to publish several books again in 2012.

I’m very excited to see what happens this month. It’s been amazing to connect with readers through Facebook and Twitter, and these are just a fraction of the people reading my books. I’ve always dreamed about people all over the world reading my books. I have all kinds of big news to share with you this month along with some guest blogs. I joined a romance blog hop the 12th – 24th and will be giving away some ebooks too. So stay tuned, and enjoy this magical season!

Living In The Christmas Tree

Living In The Christmas Tree – a Christmas short story about family

Copyright Kristen James, all rights reserved.

 

We used to worry about finding Libby a heart, but now we only think of the best way to let her go. The understanding doctors let us bring a small Christmas tree into her hospital room and decorate it.

“Move it closer,” she asked, “Please. I like looking up into the branches.”

“Let’s see what we can do.” I had the two-and-a-half foot Noble Fir on an end stand, and I pushed it as close as I dare. Who knew what would happen if I disturbed all of her machines. “Can you see better?”

Slightly turning her head, she smiled as she looked at it. We’ve always had Noble Firs for our Christmas tree because their branches are spaced, leaving room for ornaments to hang. The kids especially like hanging tinsel.

“I used to wish I could live in those little worlds.” Libby said, looking between the branches at the scenes made by our figurine ornaments. I remembered her then, every year, lying under the tree, watching the lights and ornaments. Gazing into the tree’s branches now, Libby smiled. There haven’t been many smiles in the last few months as her condition deteriorated. Finally, the doctors said there weren’t any available hearts, and she would need one right away to change things. Dr. Lane’s eyes had filled with tears when he said, “We’ll make it as comfortable as possible . . . we’ll do our best to make it a great holiday.”

Losing my daughter is the worst Christmas present I can think of, for anyone, but I turned my thinking around and promised to make this her Christmas.

Andrew, Libby’s younger brother, and Joanna, her older sister, were hanging ornaments, asking Libby each time, “Where do you want this one?”

Libby has been so brave through all this. Joanna and Andrew, too, have been strong and haven’t cried in front of Libby. I haven’t done so well in that category.

“Leave room for the presents!” Andrew sternly told Joanna, as always trying to be a leader.

Joanna gasp, suddenly remembering something. “Libby, wait till you see what we got you!”

Libby’s eyelids flickered. She looked terribly tired but whispered hoarsely, “Why did you do that? You know I don’t need anything. You’ll just have to get it back in a few days.”

I turned away quickly and dug in my purse for something, anything, and tried not to hear the awful silence behind me. When I had my eyes under control, I went to the Christmas box and pulled out one of the small, shiny ornaments to hang, forcing a smile for the kids.

Libby sighed such a quiet little sigh that I barely heard it. “Sorry…you can get me something if you want.”

I’ve agonized in the stores already, searching for something for her. Her and I both know she can’t keep it, but still… it’s the last chance I will ever have to buy my baby a present. When people talk about having a difficult time finding a present, they don’t know. They really don’t know.

I glanced down at her and followed Libby’s gaze into the tree. I found myself wishing we could all go there, and be together as hanging figurines, forever. I took her hand, overwhelmed once again by the helplessness.

The door popped open with a harsh click and swoosh, followed by an animated Dr. Lane. Three nurses rushed in with him. I felt my own heart try to stop. Not now. I wasn’t ready. By habit, I looked at her monitors but they didn’t look any different.

“We have a heart! We have a heart!”

They grabbed wires faster than I could think, moving quickly, doing things I didn’t understand. I only saw Libby’s bewildered look.

“Don’t be afraid,” I said because she looks scared. Her grip on my hand tightens.

“We have to get her in right now.” Dr. Lane grabbed my other hand. “Merry Christmas.”

I looked at my daughter but couldn’t see through my tears. Someone out there . . . who isn’t there anymore . . . gave us this gift. I hope they felt ready, unlike my Libby, and I hope they went home for Christmas.

The doctor and nurses began rolling Libby out of the room. She looked exhausted still, but managed a smile, and told Joanna, “Wait for me to open presents, okay?”

 

Free Christmas story, Christmas author, Christmas tree, the meaning of Christmas, family, holidays, heart transplant, saving your child